deja vu

i seems to be using this word a lot lately... could be the Deja Vu movie i watched last year.. or was is two yeasr ago.. well whatever... i'm feeling like this again.. going throught this not so nice feeling almost every 4 months once.. sigh... why does this happen? will it happen again? same thing over and over again? will it get worst the next time it happen? sigh... who knows.. who cares? i do.. and i don't like the feeling...

BLAME

friends?
lecturers?
society?
the leaders?
the system?
GOD?

whenever things goes wrong, we will automatically blame on someone or something..
shouldn'e we be accountable for what we have done?
aren't we be responsible for our own life?
what is right or wrong.. what to do and what not to do..
what are the consequences of this and that..

we always point at others.. someone or something to blame on.. i know i always did.. makes me feel powerless of my own life.. dependent on someone or something else...



my friend has this on his T-shirt... got me thinking when i first saw it.. what it means.. slow huh? well... now i know... be responsible for my own life and dont blame on others when things don't turn out the way i wanted... the consequences of my action

surrender

Total Surrender

that is the most difficult thing to do.. the most challenging thing to do... especially when we decide to walk the path of the righteous.. the devil will constantly be there to attack us.. when things don't turn out the way we want.. we always ask God why? why GOd? Why?
why me? why? and we will hate God for it.. doubting if he loves us like the bible says so.. is he a cruel God and find joy in putting us in the most difficult situation.. but.. but.. but... God himself has went throught what we are going through.. he came down to be with us.. FAITH.. we ask god.. where is my blessings? how long will I need to suffer like this? how long? i cannot take it any more.. when? blessings come in disguise.. good or bad.. God's almighty.. his wisdom is far greater than us. mere humans.. what right do we have to Question God? unless we can create light by just saying.. 'let there be light...' i was depressed.. i hated God for a while.. because thinhgs dont turn out the way i wanted it to be.. then i realise.. this is just another chapter of my life.. i'll hang on to God.. believing and leaving Him to control my life.. i know i willfall again and again.. but His LOVING arm will be there to catch me and hold me up... who say being a believer is free of problems? no we are not.. but we have HOPE.. our hope is in GOD because he cares.. because Gos loves each and everyone of us.. i still believe.. i will still hold on..