AMERICA.... so near... yet so far...
a dream almost came true...
letting go of the opportunity to go there..
did i make a right choice?
some say.. i'm stupid.. some say i'm mature..
well hope i made a right choice.. letting go of the opprtunity to go there..
decided to stay back in MALAYSIA..
No.1: because i know i can learn more back here in MALAYSIA with a new company
No.2: i dont want to be far away form the people i love
i know i made a difficult choice here..
Good bye AMERICA.. for now

trust

since young, people find it a bit difficult to trust me..
few has trust me 100%.. and they still do... they are the ones that trully know me in and out
not many give me 2nd chance...
2nd chance is hard to give because people will stereotype me...
doubts.. whether to turst or not.. the consequences..
the consequences of them losing trust in me..
once that happens.. somehow i lost the desire to prove myself.. its tiring..
tired of proving myself..
and i hate people that simply make assumptions about me...
i will do what think is right.. to correct my mistakes..

limit

it is always not enough when we think its enough.
there will always be someone demanding more form another.
when will they be satisfied?

the exhaustion form trying too hard to satisfy one another is like a ballon being stretched to the max.
waiting to release all the pressure inside.
once the ballon burst, there no more use for the ballon.
when i was having this thought, it reminds me of the nature of human being.
that is when situation when it first looks good turns out to be ugly when someone tries too hard.
there is a limit of what to expect.
a limit of capabilities.
a limit in everything.
limit...

a new chapter

stepping into a new chapter of my life... finally its over.. *sigh* am i suppose to sigh in relief? *taking deep breath* well.. 2 years in kindergarden, 6 years in primary school, 5 years in secondary school, 3 years in college, 3 years in university. 19 years of education and finally its over... *sigh* looking back.. all the friends that i've made. some missing, not keeping in touch but i guess they alive are some where in one corner of the earth. some i know is well and alive in another corner of the earth. some are dead. all the characters in my life... memories.. sweet... bitter... sour... spicy... all the flavours they bring into my life... i thank God for all of them and all that i have went through.. God is good. preparing the path that i need to walk to mould me into the person i am today. i know he is making winders out of my life and still moulding me everyday..

closing that chapter is not easy and starting a new chapter is not easy as well.. when i was closing that chapter.. i look back and somehow i am reluctant to close it.. i was in the comfort zone.. stepping into a new chapter, everyting is so uncertain. the end of my FAMO sholarship(Father Mother Scholarship). where am i heading. the surroundings are new. new faces. new roads. new town. working life is so exciting.. all the adventure.. the uncertain direction.. the consequencess of my actions.. my future.. though sometimes i feel unsecure, God constantly reminds me.. "seek ye first the kingdom of the lord".. i know he is there to protect me and guide me. my future is in his hands..

i am grateful and i thank God for giving this opprtunity to work here in this company.. i'm now stepping into a working life.. be independent and responsible with my own money.. it has already been one month since i took up my first job as an engineer in SSR Tech Sdn Bhd in Penang, Malaysia, a USA based company. as a fresh meat in this working life, i'm still excited to wake up every morning to go to work.. hopefully i will still be as excited as this in years to come..