..........

two of my dogs were put to sleep... its not easy for me to accept this.. my heart aches.... every now and then my tears will drop whenever i see a dog.. i miss my doggs.. Brownis and Bai Bai.. i miss them....

AMERICA.... so near... yet so far...
a dream almost came true...
letting go of the opportunity to go there..
did i make a right choice?
some say.. i'm stupid.. some say i'm mature..
well hope i made a right choice.. letting go of the opprtunity to go there..
decided to stay back in MALAYSIA..
No.1: because i know i can learn more back here in MALAYSIA with a new company
No.2: i dont want to be far away form the people i love
i know i made a difficult choice here..
Good bye AMERICA.. for now

trust

since young, people find it a bit difficult to trust me..
few has trust me 100%.. and they still do... they are the ones that trully know me in and out
not many give me 2nd chance...
2nd chance is hard to give because people will stereotype me...
doubts.. whether to turst or not.. the consequences..
the consequences of them losing trust in me..
once that happens.. somehow i lost the desire to prove myself.. its tiring..
tired of proving myself..
and i hate people that simply make assumptions about me...
i will do what think is right.. to correct my mistakes..

limit

it is always not enough when we think its enough.
there will always be someone demanding more form another.
when will they be satisfied?

the exhaustion form trying too hard to satisfy one another is like a ballon being stretched to the max.
waiting to release all the pressure inside.
once the ballon burst, there no more use for the ballon.
when i was having this thought, it reminds me of the nature of human being.
that is when situation when it first looks good turns out to be ugly when someone tries too hard.
there is a limit of what to expect.
a limit of capabilities.
a limit in everything.
limit...

a new chapter

stepping into a new chapter of my life... finally its over.. *sigh* am i suppose to sigh in relief? *taking deep breath* well.. 2 years in kindergarden, 6 years in primary school, 5 years in secondary school, 3 years in college, 3 years in university. 19 years of education and finally its over... *sigh* looking back.. all the friends that i've made. some missing, not keeping in touch but i guess they alive are some where in one corner of the earth. some i know is well and alive in another corner of the earth. some are dead. all the characters in my life... memories.. sweet... bitter... sour... spicy... all the flavours they bring into my life... i thank God for all of them and all that i have went through.. God is good. preparing the path that i need to walk to mould me into the person i am today. i know he is making winders out of my life and still moulding me everyday..

closing that chapter is not easy and starting a new chapter is not easy as well.. when i was closing that chapter.. i look back and somehow i am reluctant to close it.. i was in the comfort zone.. stepping into a new chapter, everyting is so uncertain. the end of my FAMO sholarship(Father Mother Scholarship). where am i heading. the surroundings are new. new faces. new roads. new town. working life is so exciting.. all the adventure.. the uncertain direction.. the consequencess of my actions.. my future.. though sometimes i feel unsecure, God constantly reminds me.. "seek ye first the kingdom of the lord".. i know he is there to protect me and guide me. my future is in his hands..

i am grateful and i thank God for giving this opprtunity to work here in this company.. i'm now stepping into a working life.. be independent and responsible with my own money.. it has already been one month since i took up my first job as an engineer in SSR Tech Sdn Bhd in Penang, Malaysia, a USA based company. as a fresh meat in this working life, i'm still excited to wake up every morning to go to work.. hopefully i will still be as excited as this in years to come..

deja vu

i seems to be using this word a lot lately... could be the Deja Vu movie i watched last year.. or was is two yeasr ago.. well whatever... i'm feeling like this again.. going throught this not so nice feeling almost every 4 months once.. sigh... why does this happen? will it happen again? same thing over and over again? will it get worst the next time it happen? sigh... who knows.. who cares? i do.. and i don't like the feeling...

BLAME

friends?
lecturers?
society?
the leaders?
the system?
GOD?

whenever things goes wrong, we will automatically blame on someone or something..
shouldn'e we be accountable for what we have done?
aren't we be responsible for our own life?
what is right or wrong.. what to do and what not to do..
what are the consequences of this and that..

we always point at others.. someone or something to blame on.. i know i always did.. makes me feel powerless of my own life.. dependent on someone or something else...



my friend has this on his T-shirt... got me thinking when i first saw it.. what it means.. slow huh? well... now i know... be responsible for my own life and dont blame on others when things don't turn out the way i wanted... the consequences of my action

surrender

Total Surrender

that is the most difficult thing to do.. the most challenging thing to do... especially when we decide to walk the path of the righteous.. the devil will constantly be there to attack us.. when things don't turn out the way we want.. we always ask God why? why GOd? Why?
why me? why? and we will hate God for it.. doubting if he loves us like the bible says so.. is he a cruel God and find joy in putting us in the most difficult situation.. but.. but.. but... God himself has went throught what we are going through.. he came down to be with us.. FAITH.. we ask god.. where is my blessings? how long will I need to suffer like this? how long? i cannot take it any more.. when? blessings come in disguise.. good or bad.. God's almighty.. his wisdom is far greater than us. mere humans.. what right do we have to Question God? unless we can create light by just saying.. 'let there be light...' i was depressed.. i hated God for a while.. because thinhgs dont turn out the way i wanted it to be.. then i realise.. this is just another chapter of my life.. i'll hang on to God.. believing and leaving Him to control my life.. i know i willfall again and again.. but His LOVING arm will be there to catch me and hold me up... who say being a believer is free of problems? no we are not.. but we have HOPE.. our hope is in GOD because he cares.. because Gos loves each and everyone of us.. i still believe.. i will still hold on..

Psalm 25

A Prayer for Guidance and Protection

Psalm 1 is a signpost for making the right choice of road

*this picture is from another site*

Psalm 25 is a companion for the same traveller.

Seek to follow the Lord daily, so that at the crossroads of life you may pray confidently,

'show me your ways, teach me your paths.' Psalm 25:4

no matter who we are and what we have done... God still loves us and he is waiting for us to come back to Him with his hands wide open... He is a loving God

D.I.E

People die...
Plants die...
Animals die...
Desires die...
Passions die...

...Everyone & Everything Dies...
...but not MUSIC...

I just had a sudden...
i will miss my dogs when they die...
my dog, Brownie is old...
humans years.. around 6 years...
how many years is that in dogs years...
i know i will miss her...
we will miss her...

...........

some say: cool...
some say: u crazy ah?
some say: your mom is going to faint...
some say: nice..
some say: FUIYO!!! ganas...
some say: wah!!
some say: HAHAHA... Ah Gua's hair....
i say: gila for once

.picture taken using my handphone. low quality.

Beautiful Colours

Found these beautiful colours in one of the many churches in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Water .... Water.. Water...

.Genting Highland, Malaysia.

Scenery from Malaysia

scenery from Sabah and Johore, Malaysia

Random pictures

• moss on the wall from the front of my house in KL

• pictures taken from Broga Camp
  

• top 3 pictures were edited by Ah Bu